That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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