i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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