Is it normal to miss your booty call?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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