Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
