kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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