I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I deserve this hangover.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
