I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm always down for nudity.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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