we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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