hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
