even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
