I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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