when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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