You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
