I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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