Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
