she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
