I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
