my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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