I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
