don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
