I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
did i walk over a car last night?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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