I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
