Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The air was thick with penises
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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