The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
