He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
