you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
