he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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