tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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