There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
