imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
