Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's blow job season.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i need some magic done to my vagina
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
