nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
