He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
