i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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