East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm too high and old for this...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
