i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
