You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
