And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
