What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
