return my video game
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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