If i come over, it means nothing
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
they're like a gay fantastic four
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
my poor anus
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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