How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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