I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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