I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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