She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
