am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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