Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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