Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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