I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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