did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
