is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
