he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
