lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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