bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i've created a new STD.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
